Showboatman: Ladies and gentlemen, the mighty Mississippi!

Larboard Leadsman:

 D-e-e-p F-o-u-r.

Starboard Leadsman:

 D-e-e-p f-o-u-r.

Pilot: Larboard lead there, and quick about it!

Larboard Leadsman:

 M-a-r-k t-h-r-e-e

Starboard Leadsman:

 Q-u-a-r-ter l-e-s-s t-h-r-e-e!

Pilot: Stand by now!

Larboard Leadsman:

 H-a-l-f t-w-a-i-n!

Starboard Leadsman:

 Q-u-a-r-ter t-w-a-i-n!

Pilot: steady!

Larboard Leadsman:

 M-a-r-k t-w-a-i-n!

Starboard Leadsman:

 M-a-r-k t-w-a-i-n!

Larboard Leadsman:

 P-o-r-t l-e-s-s t-w-a-i-n!

Starboard Leadsman:

 Q-u-a-r-ter l-e-s-s t-w-a-i-n!

Pilot: Now, let her have it! Snatch her! Snatch her! Stove her up!

Larboard Leadsman:

 N-i-n-e and-a-h-a-l-f!

Starboard Leadsman: NINE FEET!!!

Pilot: By god, back her up! Give her every ounce of hog lard and turpentine you've got!

Larboard Leadsman:

 E-i-g-h-t and-a h-a-l-f!

Starboard Leadsman: EIGHT FEET!

All Three:

 E-i-g-h-t f-e-e-t!!!!

Male Singers:

A la claire fontaine, m’en allant promener,

J’ai trouvé l’eau si belle, que je m’y suis baigné.

Il y a longtemps que je t’aime,

Jamais je ne t’oublierai.

Translation:

By the clear flowing fountain, I chanced one summer day,

The water looked so lovely, I bathed without delay.

For so long now I have loved you,

Always in my heart you’ll stay.

Riverkeeper & Showboatman:

Under the sturgeon moon

The silver maple fell

And formed a brittle reef

Filtering the silt-sand,

Sheltering the bluegill,

The bowfin and the sturgeon

While the green gar sleep

Darting athwart that tireless

Torrent, emerging

The fey water nymph molted her wings

And when she took May-flight

T'was only for a moment

A one-off hootenaney

A Mississippi frenzy

Waving your tangled-up

Jack-in-the-pulpit

Mayapple umbrella braids

A many hundred starflower

Freckles to follow

The thaw of May

I tried to ask you to stay

Under the sturgeon moon

August starts a rockabilly shuffle

While the autumn croons

Don't be cruel

Dam near tried to keep you

But Minnesota's weeping

You wandered off into the sturgeon moon

How could you halt

The bridal chorus of the mayfly?

How could you block the ancient way?

You may as well drain away

All'a Lake Itasca

While expecting rain

How could you ask me to stay?

I remember you waltzing to

Wait out the lock-n'-dam

Waving a cattail baton

Birch-bark and pine-pitch

Woven in root of spruce

You weren't too toothless to move on

You were the King of Fins

You wore armor then

You would go on and go on and on

And on and on and on

Grow wilder still

Minnesota weeping

Dam near tried to keep you

But Minnesota's weeping

You wandered off into the sturgeon moon

3000 miles

3000 miles and you're gone

Ensemble:

May radiant grow the glowing barley

O, make me a mill

May golden grain grace the millstone

O, make me a mill

May there be bread on ev'ry table

O, make me a mill

So may peace fill the valley

O, make me a mill

Cut that canebrake'd

Millards on the mound of the buckwheat yield

Bull-headed and laughing, caught by the seam

Shirttail tailored in the clacking gears

Tucked in the buhrstone, ripped into frays

Field full of barley

Tangle-o'-hogwash to kindlin'

Listen: how rapid that

Whirligiggin' sound

Cane-naked rip-rap

Cut em down and hold em to it

Sawdusted and wheeling

O, make me a mill

Long-horned devil in the cataract dwells

Lifting the mist and defiling the channel

Flint-scaled serpent with a 10-mile tail

Who was in the mill when the limestone fell?

Cut that canebrake'd

Tangle-o'-hogwash to kindlin'

Listen: how rapid that

That whirligiggin' sound

O, make me a mill

Grain grace the millstone

O, make me a mill

Bread on ev'ry table

O, make me mill

Peace in the valley

O, make me a mill

Turning and turning

O, make me a mill

Little by little

O, make me a mill

Cane-naked rip-rap

Cut em down and hold em to it

Sawdusted and wheeling

O, make me a mill

Gonna fell that pine

Gonna square that log

Gonna ship em down South

Gonna pin em into cribs

Gonna quarry that stone

Gonna hoist em in the crib

Gonna sink em in the river

Gonna do it all again

I'm'ma tell that river where to bend!

Knowing the winnowing wind knows

O, make me mill

Peace in the valley

O, make me a mill

Workers:

Timber!

Log squared!

Heave away!

Pine braced!

Heave ho!

Stone on stone

Crib away!

Day by day by day by day!

Ensemble:

Cut that canebrake'd

Tangle-o'-hogwash to tatters

Harken: how joyous

That whirligiggin' sound

Cane-naked rip-rap

Cut em down and hold em to it

Sawdusted and wheeling

O, make me a mill

Turning and turning

O, make me a mill

Little by little

O, make me a mill

Knowing the winnowing wind knows

O, make me mill

O, peace in

O make me a mill

Heckler, Heckler's Sidekick, & Heckler's Sidekick's Sidekick:

Fish-scaled

Fin-tailed

Abyss-dwelling

Piasa

With the horn of a deer

And the beard of a tiger

And the mug of a man

With the eyes red with fire

The boldest dare not rest long their eyes upon them

They're rude, crude, and they're Mississippi pricks

They look like they're whooped with an ugly stick

Showboatman: Hogwash! Superstitious hogwash!

Heckler, Heckler's Sidekick, & Heckler's Sidekick's Sidekick:

Well, there's all manner of unnavigable obstacles set to split your vessel asunder:

Shoals

Snags

Ship-sinking

Sawyers

Whirlpool

Shipwreck

Underwater

Stump-field

An entire forest

Floating towards us

Sudden boils

Sudden eddies

Suddenly calamity -

A squall!

And the waters as coarse

As the back of a gator

Oh, and alligators

And tornaders

And wild cats in the cane

I heard a captain say

Cholera in the cane

Who among you knows to pray

Scotch-Irish itching in the cane

I... I know how to pray

Muddy-wreaking britches in the cane

Very well. You pray

Blood-suckin' 'squitos in the cane

The rest of ye

Rapscallion pirates in the cane

Put on your life preservers

Yankees peddlin' notions in the cane

We happen to be short one

Fee-finin' duty-dishin' bar'l-taxin' wharfmasters in the cane

Heckler: Oh, and there's catfish so big and so aplenty, you can run aground of em.

Ensemble:

Catfish, catfish, catfish dinner

I prayed to the Lord

And the river delivered

Catfish, catfish, fish on tonight

Ain't no fish like a catfish fried!

Showboatman: O hogwash! Tall tales and hogwash, I tell you!

However, I did once take to rafting beneath the boughs of a fallen cypress leaning clear out o'er the channel.

Hot day.

Low water.

High noon.

And as I traversed beneath that patchwork shade...

I happened to glance up...

and behold...

Three black serpents.

Strewn about the branches.

Sunnin'.

Limbless.

Barely gripping limb.

Showboatman:

You better be lookin’

For moccasins

Out there on the creek

Cause Eastern Water Moccasins

Like to climb in—

Showboatman: Now, I was just about to sing to you all that “Eastern water moccasins like to climb in trees.” I’m obliged to inform you that this is in fact, false. Though you may on occasion find a wayward water moccasin who has embarked up a tree, this is indeed a rare spectacle, for they don’t like to climb in them. The tree-loving specimen to which I’m referring is in fact, the harmless watersnake; however, around these parts, anyone who sees a snake in, around or above the water refers to him as moccasin, and in interest of preserving the colloquial flavor of this current yarn, I shall henceforth call him the same. However, don’t go off telling folks that you went aboard the esteemed showboat Thalia and learned on good authority that the venomous Eastern Water Moccasin likes to climb in trees. They don’t! Ladies and gentlemen, that is nothing but fake snake news.

Showboatman:

You better be lookin’

For moccasins

Out there on the creek

Cause Eastern Water Moccasins like to climb in trees

And when they happen to fall it isn’t fun at all

If they happen to fall

Between your knees

What do you do

With a snake in your canoe?

How d’ya react

With a stripe-back in your kayak?

Who could think right

With the snake-eyed surprise

Of a no-leg stowaway

Droppin' from the sky?

You looked so merry this morn

Launching from the shore

You owned a boat

To freely float

Big river to explore

But when that slick serpent slipped

You abandoned ship

Now you look so forlorn

For that boat’s no longer yours

What do you do

With a snake in your canoe?

How d’ya react

With a stripe-back in your kayak?

Who could think right

With the snake-eyed surprise

Of a no-leg stowaway

Droppin' from the sky?

It's hard to have fun-a

When you're tryin'a win a battle

And you're fighting with the fauna

And you shriek and toss your paddle

That ole serpent stole your oar

Set a course for foreign shore

Now you're stuck without a paddle

And he's half-yonder to the Florida panhandle

What do you do

When a snake wins your canoe?

How d’ya react

When a stripe-back takes your kayak?

Who could think clear

When you're being commandeered

By a snakeskin drop-in

Stealing all your gear

Who could think right

With the snake-eyed surprise

Of a no-leg stowaway

Droppin' from the sky?

Joseph sought a city

Heaven on the earth

A kingdom for the weary

Somewhere in the dirt

Joseph sought a bed

All illuminated

A temple for the dead

Joseph dug a tomb

Where do you go when you die?

The dead have names

Or so they say

Or they may yet be named

So say their names

Before the water

Before the exodus west

Before the mob

Before the unbroken chain

Before the trial

Before the post-mortem baptism

Before the prophet

Before the prophet

Locked in jail

Ascended

Slowly

From the soil

All may rise again

Fertile soil

The dead have work to begin

Fertile soil

Work to be done

Sung by The Mormon, with backup vocals

Help me, half-here and haunted

Cautionary label dissolved

Halt, the hallway's severed

Christmas decorations on the

Lawn

Meet me on the mountain

Mend me in the river

Blade in my teeth

The path's a little clearer

Heaven help me,

Or make me, you oughta

Pour ourselves a drink

There's sugar in the water

You said turn that tap off

Oil-coat the skillet cast in iron

Lose it, toss the Teflon

I can taste the candy on your

Tongue

Meet me on the mountain

Mend me in the river

Blade in my teeth

The path's a little clearer

Heaven help me,

Or make me, you oughta

Pour ourselves a drink

There's sugar in the water

Sugar in the cupboard

Sugar in the shovel

Mix it in the bottle

It gets a little better

Cancel on me, or meet me

You oughta

Pour ourselves a drink

There's sugar in the water

Over the river for the dollar lottery

Short ride, stateline fuel station, Missouri

I’m gonna scratch off all I'm owed

Gonna sail off on our own

I bought the paddleboat

The Mississippi casino

Now last ride I could have won

If’n I had not dropped my goodluck coin

In the mighty river below

What's overboard I'll need no more, I damn near

Dadgum doubled down on 23

I'm blind out one eye and the other can't see

Please tell me what I'm owed

I'm gonna let it run, bet all or none

I bought the paddleboat

The Mississippi casino

Yeah I bought the paddleboat

The Mississippi casino

Now all your earnin', you can wager half

Loan me the other, I'll be right back

In style to the Bayou we'll float

Through Arkansas, the mud in all, that

Dilapidated packet a-matches ain’t sailed to Natchez in years

It's pilinings to the bottom and it's fastened to the pier

But I got a mule, and I got a line

We're gonna make it down to Memphis come suppertime

I bought the paddleboat

The Mississippi casino

Yeah I bought the paddleboat

The Mississippi casino

M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-double-P-I-Oooooo

When I own

That handsome sternwheelin’ boat

Then you can call me cap’n

I’ll allow you do the steering out of kindly respect

Watch the current through my bourbon

Kick my feet up on the railing of the Texas deck

Heck, when I buy the paddleboat

The Mississippi casino

Ev’ry troublin’ hand’ll fold

When I buy the paddleboat

The Roustabout: 

Over the river for the dollar lottery 

short ride, state-line gas station, Missouri 

gotta scratch off all I'm owed 

gonna sail off on our own 

FIREBREAK / OLD BURNT TREE I

A 22-boat fuse of fuelbox furnaces

The White Cloud burned her moorings

Drifting back to pass the torch

Well nigh all’a Saint Louis a-fire by morning

Prairie fire burning out silver elm

Lightning fell firefly

Burning night burning out silver elm

Lightning fell prairie fire burning out

Coal and timber moored to pier (moored to pier)

Pier timber moored to wharf (moored to wharf)

Wharf tied to warehouse (warehouse moored)

Warehouse to roulette den (roulette den)

Roulette den to the tavern (pine tavern)

Pine tavern to the icehouse (ice melting)

Icehouse ice all melting (all melting)

Melt into the stable (stable straw)

Straw along the church house (Oh lord)

The boarding house all half-dressed (house of)

Ill repute all faded (faded house)

The steeple over all

SHOWBOATMAN (spoken word):

A matchstick lit and reaching

Reaching for a candle

Reaching out for God

Like gangrene below the knee

A fight with no clean ending

Something has to give

To stop the whole from burning

Sterilize the scalpel

To see the light of morning

ALL:

Firebreak:

To save a city burning

Tear it down

OLD BURNT TREE (OUTRO)

King Cotton got his eye on me

The old gin won’t stop spinning

Don’t look for me by the old burnt tree

The way is not forgiving

Don’t look for me by the old burnt tree

That channel funnels often

For the ever-gaping hungry mouth

Old ravenous King Cotton

They do the two-step

Down in Cairo

They do the Allegheny waltz

As night falls on the Ohio

Fiddles waft up off the wharf

And they jump up at the junction

In their caterwauling ways

Careening, heel-clicking

Makin’ a steamer's worth of wake

PRE-CHORUS

Come sun up, they'll rise up and cast off their lines

For New Madrid's up the big bend

And they'll take their sweet time

May their payload ‘way from Cairo

Pray the cargo don't dry

For who could keep from drinking that

Monongahela Rye

CHORUS

Cairo where the green Ohio

Meets the yaller Mississippi

And the hues refuse to braid

Like moss on magnolia

Like a pale-rosin stain on an old fiddle case

Dyer County cattle, dry tobacco

Kentucky chicken, pre-fried

They'll sail an ark-o'-mules to Arkansas

Driftin' drowsy by and by

And the keelman sings a fine hymn

But the Kaintuck ain't right

For whence he joined the chorus

The old cow did die

PRE-CHORUS

[Repeat pre-chorus]

DOUBLE CHORUS

[Repeat chorus twice]

OUTRO

And if the River changes course

Moves the Illinois shore

Past the vague Missouri border

She'll make a freedman

Of a slave

SHOWBOATMAN: Roustabout

I've seen top hats and lorgnettes from Saint Louis to N'Orleans

I've seen the pearl-laden neckline of ev'ry river scene

I've seen buckskin-n-linen

Trading tickets for turnips

I've seen that crazy river

Just up and leave

Look away, look away

Alluvial river

She's a half-mile up

She's half a mile gone

Whether this bills a-washed up, I can't remember

But a showboatin' man knows the show must go on

I've walked backbreaking gangplanks

'Neath great bales of cotton

I've walked quiet wharf-lengths

Of idle chain

I saw that 7:10 train go

Off to Chicago

Near ev'ry day since

That river went away

Look away, look away

Alluvial river

She's a half-mile up

She's half a mile gone

Whether this bills a-washed up

I can't remember

A roustaboutin' man don't know

When to move on

She’ll move on forever

That stupendous flood

To break the monotony

She’ll go where she wants

Can you curb a hurricane?

Can you break a wild horse?

Or does she simply put up with you in the rain

Till she’s startled off in the storm

Look away, look away

Alluvial river

She's a half-mile up

She's half a mile gone

Whether this bills a-washed up

I can't remember

A showboatin’ man knows

A roustaboutin’ man knows

The riverfolk know the river goes on

Old Burnt Tree II

Don’t look for me by the old burnt tree

Nor in that fork-ed highway

Nor in annals of history

You won’t fare well to find me

Farewell, farewell, farewell, farewell

I’m off upon that river

The foreman wants his 40 bales

King Cotton wants his supper

Home of Plenty

What's that burning?

Sugar burning

In the fields by the stream

Sweet smoke rising

In live-oak spirals

Phantom Spanish drapery

Little owl

Little owl

Eyes in the night

They are waiting

To receive us

Have they waited quite a while?

And I know he's a fool

Who stares at the sun

But few fail to fall for the charm of the veranda lights

They are calling

Through the columns

Through the jasmine-heavy air

All are welcome

All azalea

All are taken care for here

Home of plenty

Please, have plenty

Eat and be satisfied

Home of promise

Mint of julep

Pomegranate garden of delight

Swollen gardenias

Adorn the window sill

Perfuming the balustrade

A-drowsed in that lulling veranda air

What's that you're washing?

What's that you're washing?

What sordid stain did spill?

Fine Madeira

Half-time delirium

All is well atop the hill

There is no pain here

No want nor night here

Atop the hill, time stands still

What are you washing?

What are you washing?

What did the barn-slaughter kill?

That rolling river is

Sheening with the dew

Steamships sail slowly by

O, that good ole veranda view

What's that rope pull?

Punkah wallah

Fan the banquet-heavy air

Parlor corner

Blow no candle

Careful wallah wouldn't dare

Walnut-crusted

Pecan-candied

Fan the flies up off the veal

Another sherry

One more candied yam

What did the punkah wallah hear?

The song of cicada

Rattles through magnolia leaves

Remove the waxen buds from your ears

Hear that veranda breeze

Where's the kitchen?

"It's not with us

But from where that came, there's plenty more

More Madeira?

Another sherry?"

Yes, I'd like one more pour

There's no kitchen?

Where are the quarters?

"All are loved and cared for here

We are family

We are Christmas

All are loved and cared for here"

And I know he's a fool

Who on the wine cup tarries

But I’d like to sit and rock awhile

I'm on the veranda now

I'm on the veranda now

I’m on the veranda now

I’m on the veranda now

Memphis motel

Weeping from the balcony

O, wilting South

Weeping for the preacher

Felled for dreaming

All are equal all along

The wilting South

O, who cut him down?

I wept for the sturgeon

Locked out the lock and dam

I wept for the bison, long gone

I wept for the fur trap,

The wingdam, the rip-rap

I wept till the levee caved in the flood

I wept for the singer

Crying, “Hallelujah”

I wept all alone ’neath a painted vermilion sun

I wept for the wayfarer

Too frail to fare North

I wept for the wayfarer

Forced on board with no choice

Look away, look away,

Alluvial river

Half a mile up

Already gone

What all got washed away

I can't remember

But someday they'll surface

Up out of the mud

[The rest of the cast, one by one, then all together. The panorama scrolls as slowly as possible to New Orleans.]

THE MORMON

There'll be french horns and french harps and squeeze-box accordions

Trumpets and trombones and war marching drums

There'll be banjos and bibles and crushed velvet curtains

And someday they'll surface on up from the mud

THE GAMBLER

There'll be dadgum goodluck coins

And drowned chips of poker

Woodrot roulette wheels and snake-eye-loaded dice

Smokestacks and thumbtacks and a deck with no aces

Face down and waiting right out in the mud

THE ROSTANOUT

There'll be old crates and deckplanks and panoramic paintings

Ceramic pipes and tintypes and pulpy books of poems

Steam whistles and fiddles and union belt buckles

Face up they'll show up some day in the mud

THE HECKLER

There'll be cookbooks for Southern cast-iron Dutch ovens

Bottles of rotgut and gut-string guitars

A recipe for rum cake that's more rum than rum cake

I'll bake you all that rum cake if you take me from the mud

MOCCASIN SISTERS

There'll be clarinets and whirligigs and foot-pump reed organs

Cellos and dobros and bar'ls of rye

There'll be handbells and deck bells, bells ringing a warning

Ease up! You're gunnin' to get stuck in the mud

ALL

There'll be french horns and french harps and squeeze-box accordions

Trumpets and trombones and war marching drums

There'll be banjos and bibles and crushed velvet curtains

And someday they'll surface on up from the mud

And someday we'll surface on up from the mud

And someday we'll surface on up from the

Chante, rossignol, chante,

Toi qui as le coeur gai.

Tu as le coeur à rire,

Moi je l’ai-t-à-pleurer.

Il y a longtemps que je t’aime,

Jamais je ne [incomplete in source]

SHOWBOATMAN

For a long time I have loved you,

In my heart you’ll always stay